I used to be a fit, healthy English teacher until
I broke up a school fight in April 1985..and later that night began a 27-year struggle
with chronic pain that I will likely be waging for the rest of my life. I retired on disability in 2008.
Throughout my battle—because that is what it is—I have found out several things about pain:
Throughout my battle—because that is what it is—I have found out several things about pain:
1. That pain is an evolving thing, changing
form and manner to attack me in ways I can not foresee; and
2. I will probably never win this
battle; and
3. Though it is a physical
affliction, it can at times attack me psychologically and alter the way I
interact with the world; and
4. Despite its sometimes overwhelming nature,
there are techniques I have learned to live with it, and still lead a life of quality
and satisfaction; but
5. It will take the work of others
to help me through, and I must accept this and let people in to the shell I
sometimes build around myself to deal with it.
I am creating this blog for several
reasons that can probably be further distilled, but the first one for now is simply
this: I have always liked writing, and I have found that it can help me in the manner
a good therapist can help others. I
believe writing is even now a dialogue of sorts between me and my assumed
audience, who may simply be me someday down the road. When I write I choose words and phrases for
specific reasons, and that forces me to think analytically and, I hope,
honestly.
Over the years my friends have often told me to create this blog…people who know me and whose opinions
and faith and support I have grown to trust and believe in, and though it took
quite a while for their suggestions to sink in, I have come to the point where
I also think that this may do some good…
But here’s the catch, and it’s as
true for me as it is for anyone else who reads this: this blog is about pain—MY
pain, and what it has done to me, and how I have dealt with it. While it is my hope that someday another
person or persons may read this, and my blog may have a positive effect on
others, I do not want anyone to think my writing is meant to supplant medical
advice or anything of the sort. I cannot
prescribe solutions for others any more than I can prescribe medicine. That is NOT the purpose of this blog.
What I am hoping for is to come to
a better understanding of my own lifelong struggle with chronic pain, and to
perhaps make a difference with others who hurt by suggesting that they may come to terms
with their own struggles in their own manner. What I have found out is not only that must I become my own best advocate,but also that
there are others out there—good, caring people, both personal and professional—who
have dedicated some portion of their lives to help me.
Together, I hope I—we—can get a
handle on this thing. We may not beat
it, but then again it will not beat us.
